Search
  • iLady

Kreuzberg Cobblestones

Unfortunately for me

Kreuzberg cobblestones look the same

Rain or shine

On the way to your house or mine

And the buildings don’t remember my face the way they hold 3 month old spray paint.

If I were to step off the train at Kottbusser Tor (to take the long way to your 3rd floor apartment) and walk past everywhere we used to go,

The spati and the döner shop and the park benches,

Nobody would know me

But maybe our kebab man would lighten up when he saw me, like he always used to,

He’d add more sauce if I was there, or so you said, and he knew us,

And three months after the breakup when I somehow let us end up back there together for lunch, he said with a smile, “Oh, your girlfriend is back!” and you smiled and nodded even though it wasn’t true

And I didn’t know enough German to correct him

So I let my mind wander

And I watched your hands move how they always have,

Anxiously,

Fidgeting,

Like I wasn’t the person who knew you the best or the most,

Like I wasn't the one person to follow you anywhere,

Mexico, Germany, The end of the world,

Fidgeting like you had better things to do than realize it might never be all in like that again.

These thoughts spun around us as he methodically made our food

And we joked about the people we’d seen on your street

Like we hadn’t moved there together

Or eaten at this same place the first night I got there,

City noise so new but somehow so comforting because I was with you

I was with you

I was (in love) with you

And even sirens can sound like melodies when they’re outside a window we had to pull open because our hands on each other were too warm


And every time I made you shiver and gasp in that tiny twin bed

I never realized each one was one time closer to the end

One time closer to me sleeping in someone else’s bed

With the same blonde hair you’d tangled your fingers in

Lost in someone else’s sheets




29 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
  • White Facebook Icon
  • White Instagram Icon

iLady Zines

© 2020 by iLady Zines